


An Unlikely Ally

by DirtyLilGreaseMonkey



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-02-07
Packaged: 2018-05-18 20:38:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5942388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DirtyLilGreaseMonkey/pseuds/DirtyLilGreaseMonkey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Aaron leaves Robert is left alone with his thoughts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Unlikely Ally

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt - everyone knows and after reporting his dad to the police Aaron has decided to go away on his own for a while to sort his head out. Having said his goodbyes Robert is alone in the back of the oub and the enormity of Aarons situation suddenly hits him. Days of being by his side supporting him and trying to be strong for him takes its toll and his breaks down and sobs bug ugly tears. Chas is the one to find him. 
> 
> So I already did the saying goodbye fic therefore this is more about Roberts thoughts and feelings as Aaron has left.
> 
> Hope you enjoy reading <3

 

Leaving him was the hardest part.

  
He didn't even get to say to say goodbye, not properly anyway. There was a slight nod of the head and he was gone leaving Robert to watch his hunched shoulders as he was led away into the stark whiteness of the hospital ward. The slam of the caged door made Robert flinch much the way Aaron flinched every time anyone came near him now, everyone except Robert. Robert was the only person Aaron had allowed to come hear him since that day and it killed Robert to know Aaron now had to handle this on his own. He knew that being here in this place however much Robert hated it was what Aaron needed, what they both needed if they were to move forward but it still pained Robert to know he wouldn't be the one helping Aaron now.

“It's gonna be okay, it's gonna be okay,” he repeated to himself over and over again as he made his way back into the village.

Those four words had become his mantra over the past few weeks playing on a continuous loop in his head. There where the last words he said before he closed his eyes in an attempt to catch as much rest as possible when Aaron was sleeping and they were the first words he said to himself when his eyes opened and frantically searched the room making sure Aaron was still there. It was the only way either of them had managed to sleep knowing the other wasn’t far away.

“It's gonna be okay,” he told himself again as he walked into the back room of the pub but without Aarons sad smile to provide him with the reassure he needed the words became meaningless like he’d lost the faith he’d been clinging too and with it the energy to carry on.

As he shrugged his jacket off his tired body and placed over the back of a kitchen chair he eyed the inviting comfort of sofa as he made a brew more out of habit than the need for the drink.

Closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose he sank back into the soft cushions with a heavy sigh. He'd been so focused on tending to Aarons needs these past two weeks he felt lost without him to take care of, to think of and without that distraction he couldn't stop the harrowing events of Aarons past slipping back into his mind. As the reality of not having to be strong for Aarons sake washed over him and exhaustion began to set in, the walls he’d built up in order to protect both himself and the man he loved started to collapse leaving him powerless to the sea of emotions behind it and for the first time he felt the enormity of the whole sordid mess pressing against his chest making it impossibly hard to breathe. He forced his eyes open and reached out for his drink in the hopes the sweet sugary wetness would calm his increasing heart rate. He let out a humourless laugh as he saw he'd placed two cups on the coffee table out of sheer habit, he hadn't even remembered putting the kettle on let alone making the tea. That was enough for him to bite his tongue in order to hold back the tears that threatened to escape his tired eyes. He balled his fist up into the heavy material of the sofa and let out a small sob as his hand fell onto something that felt out of place. He pulled out a green jumper that had fallen down the side of the cushion, not just any green jumper it was his, Aarons. The thought of not knowing when he’d next see him again made his chin wobble as he tried to swallow around the almost constant lump in his throat because he knew if he let even one tear fall thousands more would follow. He brought the soft woollen material to his noise and while the scent of Aaron invaded his nostrils the emotions he'd been squashing down began to rise to the surface and as he held the green wool to his face he felt the first tear fall, the warmth of the salt water sliding down his cheek and rolling off his chin. It was followed by another and then another until his eyes flooded with them, he buried his head into the soft material and broke down completely knowing full well that now the tears had started he wouldn't be able to stop them.

He cried for the little boy who should have never had to endure such horrors.

He cried for the confused teenager that fought so hard to accept himself.

He cried for the man he loved who was now left to face his demons on his own.

He sank even further into himself and slid to the floor his chest heaving and his almost inhuman wailing coming from deep within him, a place even he had yet to explore. The tears seemed to last for hours leaving wet tracks down his face that dripped off the end of his nose mixing with the clear watery snot that streaked from his flaring nostrils down to his quivering lips. His hands pulling at the material of Aarons shirt clenching and unclenching rhythmically as if the answer to his sorrow lay within the soft wool.

Chas was the one who heard the noisy sobs as they echoed through the empty corridor behind the bar and went to investigate. As she pushed open the living room door she thought she would find Diane, Victoria even but the source of the howling was coming from the last person she expected to see losing himself in her living room, Robert. Chas had never seen this side to Robert before he looked broken. Yes, maybe it was because she hadn’t let herself see him like this before never expected him to feel so intensely and so deeply about her son she’d dismissed his feelings altogether but seeing him now, he was far from the arrogant man she has come to loath, in fact he was just as heartbroken as her if not more so. He’d been a constant vigil at Aarons side over the past few weeks barely showing any emotion but as she looked at him now all that strength seemed to have vanished leaving the sadden shadow of the man she used to despise. She knew it must be Aaron that was the cause of such a volatile reaction and wasn’t about the let that happen, if Robert lost hope that what chance did she have?

“Robert.”

He didn’t even seem to register that she was in the room, he was folded so far in on himself, all she could see was his body shaking, his blonde hair that looked like it needed a brush running through it and a green jumper that she knew to belong to Aarons balled up in his hands.

When calling him didn’t get her an answer she walked towards him and took a seat on the sofa next to where he had collapsed on the floor. She didn’t want to startle him so she leant forward her hands in her lap and like she was talking to a small child she repeated his name.

“Robert.”

Robert looked up at the sound of his name and it took a moment of staring blankly at her face for him to register her presence because she was the last person he expected to comfort him even though they did love the same person.

Before he could stop himself he turned his body towards hers his tears betraying his feelings whether he wanted them too or not and his head came to rest on her knee as he willing took the comfort that was offered. Chas froze when he felt Robert move into her, could she comfort the man she blamed for the distance between her and her son, but he’d been there for Aaron when she hadn’t so he took a deep breath and knowing Aaron wouldn’t want her to leave him alone she brought her hand down to rub his back. She could feel the heaving and the shaking as she stroked Roberts back softly just like she had done with Aaron when he was a child the memory bringing tears to her own eyes.

“I tried,” Robert choked out between sobs,

“But I wasn't enough was I?” he cried setting off a fresh bout of tears.

“You were there for him Robert when…....” Chas choked as she continued to rub circles over his back trying to fight off her own tears,

“When I wasn't.”

His eyes seemed to find focus as they found Chas’ now red and tear rimmed, his hand covering his mouth as the sobs continued to wreck from his body.

“I tried to get him to talk but…..but…he made me promise,” he managed to snivel out in between his fresh tears.

“I know you did,” Chas sniffed she knew Aaron better than anyone and knew you couldn’t make him do anything he didn’t want to.

“But you stood by him and for that I’ll be forever grateful.”

Robert shook his head, if Chas was being nice to him he must really be losing it or more to the point losing Aaron, the thought made him cry out.

“I’ve lost him haven’t I?”

“No you can’t think like that Robert he just needs help that’s all.”

“I thought I was helping him.”

“And you did, you gave him the strength to talk about it.”

“He’s the strongest person I know,” Robert nodded sadly.

“That’s our Aaron, always keeping things bottle up until…….”

“He hurts himself,” Robert finished her sentence, his voice tinged with guilt which set off another wave of sadness through his already exhausted body.

“I don't know what to do without him,” Robert confessed inhaling sharply through his nose trying to suck in as much oxygen as he could because the force of sobs were beginning to make his chest ache.

“We just have to be there for him, he needs us now more than ever,” Chas said sombrely her own face stained with streaks of her tears.

What would Aaron think of him if he could see him now? He sucked in another lungful of air and just when he thought the tears were beginning to subside an image flashed through his head from that day, Aaron flinching away from him as he pulled the blanket over him, his skin pale and clammy from the infection that coursed through his veins and the anger and sorrow he felt on that day came crashing down on him.

“He was just a kid,” Robert bawled his body convulsing with his anger tears, his words causing them both to break down and without knowing why Chas wrapped her arms around Roberts shoulders and rested her chin on his head rocking them back and forth as they both grieved for their lost boy.

His heart and his head were drowning with the painful knowledge of what had happened to the man he loved but despite that he heard what Chas said, he needed them now more than ever and he reminded himself that Aaron was a survivor. He sniffed wiping away the lessening tears with the back of his hand as his resolve began to kick in. the sadness was still there but not as raw as it had been before his breakdown, now it was just an emptiness the kind that wouldn’t shift until he was back by Aarons side so he had to be strong if not for himself then for Aaron because despite him leaving he knew that Aaron needed him and he’d promised him he would never be alone again and it was a promise he intended to keep.

“Thanks,” Robert whispered offering Chas a sad smile.

“As much as I hate to admit it we are in this together you and me,” Chas returned with half a smile and a somewhat reassuring squeeze of his arm.

Robert stared at her hand on his arm for a second before he shrugged,

“S’pose we are.”

“I do love him ya know,” Robert added a second later.

“I know,” Chas nodded with a sigh knowing she couldn’t argue that fact anymore, he’d spent hours over the past weeks just being there for her son, obviously putting off his own grieve to take care of him so yes she knew he loved him.

“Why don’t ya go and clean ya self up and I’ll make us a cuppa.”

Robert nodded sadly and heaving himself up off the floor slowly made his way up the stairs to the bathroom his eyes purposefully avoiding the door at the end of the corridor. He stared blankly into the mirror as he ran his hands under the cold water splashing a little on his face. His eyes were no longer brimming with tears but were red and swollen his skin blotchy making his freckles stand out even more against the patches of pink skin. He ran his hands through his hair hoping the residual water would tame the somewhat unkempt mess but it was no use. He dabbed his face with a towel with one last look at his haunted expression he opened the bathroom door and turned the wrong way coming face to face with Aarons bedroom door.

He paused in front of the room that had been his second home for the past few weeks, his earlier tears beginning to well in his eyes again as he thought about spending this first night alone, without him. With a deep breath he pushed open the door and started to wonder, no she wouldn’t let him so he pushed the thought away as soon as it arrived. His eyes scanned the room he’d spent so many nights in, he wasn’t sure how he’d cope sleeping somewhere else now. His eyes fell on the black hoodie that hung from the back of the door, the white cord a stark contrast to the darkness of the room. He picked it up and let out a sad laugh when he noticed it was the same hoodie Aaron had been wearing when he’d kissed him for the first time all those months ago. It was a little short in the arms but he didn’t care, he wrapped the black material around him burying his nose into the rough cotton and batting away the fresh tears with the back on his now sleeved hand he slowly made his way back down the stairs. As he pushed through the door he was greeted by a mournful looking Chas.

“Sorry,” Robert mumbled in apology for his earlier outburst and for the fact he was now wearing Aarons hoodie.

“There’s no need,” Chas fussed letting herself smile when she saw how short the hoodie was on Robert but held her tongue.

“Here,” she added indicating for him to take a place at the kitchen table as she slid a mug in his direction.

“Thanks,” Robert offered glumly.

Robert sat opposite Chas hunched over the table his eyes cast down and then back up to the door expecting Aaron to walk in any minute but knowing he wouldn’t he accepted the offered mug wrapping his hands around it hoping to steal some of its warmth. They sat in comfortable silence each of them lost in memories of Aaron

“He’ll be back before you know it,” Chas said breaking the silence reassuring herself as much as Robert.

Robert gave her a sad smile and before he could stop himself he asked,

“Do you…..can I……..” his attention flitted towards the door and then up to the ceiling and back at Chas his eyes pleading with her to just say yes.

Chas sighed; she couldn’t deny him when he clearly needed to be here and besides he’d practically moved in already.

“Of course you can.”

“Thanks,” Robert breathed in relief that he didn’t have to ask.

The next few weeks were gonna be hard without the boy they both loved but he was finally getting the professional help he needed and somehow through all the pain and suffering Robert had found an unlikely ally.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Really hope we get the Robert and Chas relationship explored a bit more on screen now that Chas knows Robert was their for Aaron.
> 
> This was written about a week ago, before the episode aired on thurs and Robert used the same line. But lets face it Aaron Livesy is the strongest person there is or ever was!!
> 
> If you have sent me a prompt rest assured I haven't forgotten about it!
> 
> Thank you for reading. <3


End file.
